What’s up everybody, and welcome to the fit to fat to fit experience podcast. I’m your host, drew Manny, and I’m your cohost. Lynn. Thank you so much for joining us today on the podcast. You guys, where we try and bring, you know, what I learned from my fit to fat to fit experience into the podcast. We try and bring not just health and fitness professionals on the podcast, but people from all different backgrounds that have to do with health. So today’s episode we bring on Larry Hagner. Larry Hagner is the author of a book called the dad’s edge and the host of a podcast called the good dad project. I’m the cohost of that show is Sean Stevenson, who as you know, he’s been on my podcast in the past and it’s a great podcast, not just for, uh, you know, dads out there, but for any parent.
Um, I had the privilege of being on their podcast a while ago talking about, you know, my philosophy is, uh, being a dad and how that plays a role in my life. And, and it was, we brought him, uh, on today’s episode and in today’s episode we discuss, you know, some amazing things with him. First of all, we dive into his book and have him talk about three tips that, um, that you can take away from, uh, from his book called the dad’s edge, which is a bestseller on Amazon by the way. And it has a lot of great info in there.
Yeah. I love how we talk about, we talk about some actually kind of crazy statistics about why a father’s role is so influential and we all talk about parents in general. We talk about tips for single parents. We talk about simple things that you can do quick and simple things that you can do to try to improve, um, your parenting skills and improve the relationship with your children. Larry is amazing when you hear his background of how he grew up, fatherless and everything that he went through. It’s really astounding and inspiring to see how he went from that to creating this project and to becoming what we consider a soup.
Exactly. Yeah. You guys have to listen to his story of growing up. Father, this, it’s an, it’s a remarkable story. You won’t, you won’t want to miss that part of it. But before we dive into today’s episode, this podcast is brought to you guys by dollar workout club.com.
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All right, Larry Hagner
Aloha. And welcome to the fit to fat to fit experience podcast. How are you doing today man? Good. How are you doing drew? I’m doing great. Thank you so much for coming on again.
I’ll tell everyone cause I like to embarrass myself and it’s good to be vulnerable.
Not today. Um, yesterday I recorded a full 60 minute episode, actually tweeted about this, by the way, Larry. I was like that moment when you record a 60 minute episode, but you forget to push record
[inaudible]
and hashtag waste of time. And so thank you for coming on again. People will appreciate the honesty, I’m sure. Um, take two, take two, uh, go. Yeah, thanks so much for coming on again, Larry. We appreciate it. Um, so let’s try and say exactly what you said yesterday.
Good. Dang it. So good.
Okay. We’re recreating it where we have it all written out, so we’re good.
So
kind of want to start off, um, with something different because I noticed, you know, I follow you on social media, I don’t stock you, but I follow you and I noticed that you went to this unbeatable mind retreat with Mark divine, who am a huge fan of, and I’m actually going to have him on the podcast coming up pretty soon. Can you tell us a little bit about what you did there and what you learned and how that differs from the whole SEALFIT camp that he does, which I’ve seen footage of, and I’m like, man, one of these days, I’m going to try that out, but kind of give us a little bit what you, what were the biggest takeaways?
Yeah, man. Gosh. So we went to the unbeatable mind retreat and that’s, that’s really one of Mark’s retreats. So he has a unbeatable mind. He also, I believe has SEALFIT. He also has an element called 20 acts, which is 12 hours of nonstop training. And then he has something called Coca row camp where I believe he basically replicates the Navy seal hell week and it’s 50 straight hours of nonstop training. And so unbeatable mind. It’s, it’s really more the mental aspect of all that stuff. And as far as the physicality goes, it’s a, there’s not a whole lot to it. It’s mostly just sitting there and learning. Uh, there’s, there’s definitely some working out. There’s some yoga and breathing, there’s some physicality to it, but it’s mostly just learning about the mentality and just kind of give you some background, Mark Devine. About 18 months ago I saw the movie lone survivor and I loved the movie. I loved it so much that I went on Amazon the night that I saw it and I want to buy the book. Well, what happened was, is when I went to Amazon, you know how they always have that thing at the bottom of like, well, if you liked this book then you’ll like these 10 other ones that you should probably buy from Amazon.
Yeah, yeah. Always gets you like that. Yeah.
So I saw Mark’s book, which is unbeatable mind and it’s literally his profile staring in the face of a Wolf. So it like totally caught my eye. I read the book, I read it again, and then I read it again. I read the book three times. I loved it. And then I actually liked it so much that I bought it on audio as well from iTunes. So I’d want to listen to it. I have 10 people who actually worked for me and I bought 10 copies for everyone who works for me. I mean, I just love the book, the good book. It is a good book. It’s right up there with fit to fat fit.
[inaudible].
But, uh, anyway, I, uh, when I first launched my podcast almost a year ago, I had Mark down is like, you know, on my bucket list of guests that I really wanted to have on. And uh, he came on and I, it literally only took one email. I just randomly emailed him from his site. He agreed to come on the show. We did the interview and then I was on his podcast, which is seal fit. And he invited me and my wife to his retreat and I got to tell you everything that we learned. I mean, it’s really about perception, uh, how to take care of your, your body, your mentality. Uh, I mean there’s so much information. Sean and I actually just did a recent podcast about it ourselves on, on good dad project podcast, but it was absolutely fantastic. We did do a few seal fit workouts, but it was mostly just learning the mentality of everything.
I love. That is so cool man. And I actually remember watching lone survivor in the first 10 minutes. I’m just like sweating watching what these Navy seals are going through. Um, you know, during hell week and I just, it’s always intrigued me, but it scared the crap out of me. I’m like, man, to go through something like that, I don’t know if I’d be mentally tough enough cause it’s not about being in the best shape or physically fit. I mean he tells me all the, I when I was at one of Mark’s seminars, he said, I’ve seen some really fit people, you know, quit after just a few hours of this. So I would love to try that out one day. So what am I going to do that Larry mean?
Oh my gosh, I can’t believe people. I love the thought, the thought I had,
he was telling me about the programs he’s like, and then there’s a 50 hours straight hell week. I’m like, people pay for that. Men do. It’s exactly crazy man. And, but you know what, after I got a taste of this unbeatable mind mentality, so he’s got something kind of in between, which is 20 X camp, which is basically I think 12 hours of what Koch row camp is, which is Coke grows the 50 hour. But at the end of unbeatable mind, I went up to Mark and I got to know him pretty well over the weekend. There was only 110 people there. I shook his hand and I was like, man, thank you so much for having us out. Such a pleasure meeting you. I with a smile on my face and go, man, you know, I’m really curious about Coca RO camp and no kidding around. My wife laughed about it, but after we walked away he looked me up and down he goes. Well, curiosity is the start.
What did you say?
Uh, Coke, RO or Kokomo? Kokomo. Kokomo, and you know that, uh, well who sings that song? Yeah, beach boys. That’s what I was thinking. That sounds like fun. No, just kidding. Um, all right Larry, uh, thank you so much for sharing that. Like, I definitely am intrigued and I’m definitely gonna talk to Mark about this and see what we can do. Me and Sean seal fit and we’ll do it. Um, so kind of, I want to let my listeners, um, be introduced to you and your story. Can you back up? Tell us your story of growing up, father, this and how that led you to become what I classify you as a super debt. I mean, here you are, you, you have a podcast, that very popular podcast called the good dad project, your book, which is a bestseller on Amazon called dad edge, the dead edge. Right. Um, and uh, I’ll kind of want to share with my followers your story. So if you could tell us your story of how you grew up, father this and how that led you down this path and kind of molded you into becoming a super dad.
Man. I mean, I’m, I’m humble. Like I, I got a smile from ear to ear, man. Thank you so much. I mean, if my, my wife was standing here to my left, she’d probably be like,
huh.
Well my kids too. But, um, I, I appreciate that. I mean, my story really came from, I mean, I kind of, I hit rock bottom, no kidding, around about five years ago from a father and a husband standpoint to where I was so frustrated into my fatherhood journey, my journey as a husband. I mean, I was so frustrated and be honest with you, I was so bad at it and I just felt like I needed to do something to basically get out of my own way, kinda arm myself with some strategies and purpose. Some things I needed to learn to just be better. I mean, my story really, really goes like this. So my mom and biological father were married back in 1971 I was born in 1975 by the time I was nine months old, they got divorced and the divorce was actually so bitter that unfortunately they completely part of ways.
And my father was really not a part of my life whatsoever. And to me, I mean I, I was just a little kid. I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. I had no frame of reference for a father or anything like that. But I remember being four years old, I mean, we’re going back 36 years ago, but I remember being four years old and being in preschool. And I remember like these, these men coming to pick up, you know, these dads, these quote unquote dads in my world picking up my friends from school. And I always was like, man, that must be like a dad. Like I never really knew what that was all about. But in my mind I was like, well, I guess the moms just kind of go out and find a dad. Like I maybe my mom just hasn’t found one yet.
So no, it, you know, no big deal. And by the way, I don’t tell this childhood story out of pity. I don’t regret anything about my childhood at all. I was, it was a good learning experience, but I will never forget the first time my mom brought home a guy that she was dating because she wanted to have more for dinner. He came walking through the front door, he’s wearing a suit. He had a trench coat on, he had a spreed case. And I just remember, you know, here’s a guy coming in our house for the very first time and immediately in my four year old mind, I was like, this must be it. She found a dad, so I shouldn’t this guy’s hand. And I go, first question, are you going to be my dad? And,
and your mom’s giving you this look like, Oh, geez.
It’s like, actually I gotta go. I got, he’s like, I got an a meeting I to go to. No, I’m just kidding.
No, no, you’re right. I mean, there was like a hush that went over like the entire room and I swear like the guy was probably like, ah, I, I’m just here for dinner. Um, you know, so, but anyway, lo and behold, fast forward a year later, they did get married. And I mean, I remember being at the wedding, I was like, Oh, this is awesome. My family, you know, we finally have a dad. It’s cool. So it was cool for a little while. Uh, unfortunately what happened was, is he, he was a bit of a DIR anchor, uh, sober. He was honestly one of the coolest guys I’d ever known. He was really nice. It taught me really tough lessons and manners. Like I just always remember him being really hard on me for please and thank you and yes sir. No sir. But it was, he was nice.
However, when he drank he became a very different person and unfortunately the longer they were married the more or I saw, you know, that drinking ver version of him and it was more of the, the mental abuse of physical abuse. So it was kind of going on there. So you know, by the time I was 10, that relationship with him, my mom got so bad that they ended up getting divorced and he left and he was completely gone. And I haven’t, you know, here I am, 40 years old. I haven’t seen him since. And I will tell you this, when they got divorced, there was a part of me that was devastated because I was like, man, you know, I’ve lost my dad. But there was also a part of me, I was completely relieved because I was like, well, at least there won’t be any chaos.
Like no more fights, no more being hit no more being yelled at, that kind of thing. So he abused you and your mom? Yeah, he was a pretty violent guy so, but like I said, sober, he was actually pretty decent, but he just drank a lot. But that’s really when I kind of found out. I really didn’t have any idea that I had this other biological father. I just assumed he was my father. And I started when I got older and I started asking questions. That’s when it came out that my mom had been married before and I knew, you know my, my dad’s name and I knew that he lived in st Louis and that was really about it. Well, 12 years old, a couple of years later I was able to actually meet him and you know it, I’ll never forget it. I mean it was here.
I was 12 years old, didn’t have a dad for a couple of years when I first met him. I think at that point I was desperate for a dad. I was like, man, I really, really want a dad. So like I got to meet him, I got to have this very short relationship with him. He had a a two year old at the time and then another one on the way. He had been married for a couple of years to another woman. And what happened was with that relationship is unfortunately we just kinda, for lack of going into too much detail, we just drifted and I lost him again. So by the time I was 12, I lost it once I lost my stepfather and then I lost my bile biological father again. And to be honest, yeah it was, it was a bit crazy. But I think that was kind of a low point for me, to be honest with you.
I mean, here I was, as you know, in eighth grade I started to overeat. Uh, I kinda gave up on school. I actually failed eighth grade, uh, straight F’s and um, had to repeat eighth grade all over again. And from the time I was 12 to the time I was 18, my mom dated, she married two more times, dated a few more guys. But it was always kinda like this same type of character who is a heavy drinker. Um, so I grew up at times in my life where it was, I had a fatherless environment. Absolutely. But I also the times I did have a father in my life, it was always an element of toxicity and chaos and mental or physical abuse. So it was, it was a busy. So
question for you Larry, before you continue, cause I know there’s a lot more to the story. Um, did at some point your father ever express regret? Like for not, you know, being a part of your life at that point in time or, or you know, even when you were a baby, did it, does he talk about that ever? Or maybe you’ll get to that, I’m sorry to interrupt, but
I know that that’s a really great question. Um, and yeah, I can absolutely get to that in, in this next part. Cause, believe it or not, I did actually get to get to find out. Um, so what happened was when I was 30, so 10 years ago, I’m sitting in a Starbucks coffee shop here in st Louis and I’m sitting there with a coworker of mine and my dad came walking through the door. Uh, I, it had been 20 years since I’d seen him, but I knew exactly who he was when he came in the door. And he hadn’t changed very much, been 20 years. So I just kind of sat there, kind of stunned. And the coworker that I was with, you know, she kinda saw the look on my face and she was like, are you all right? You’re like, you look like you’re just seeing a ghost.
And I was like, ah, well, it’s like, well, I was like, you’re not gonna believe this. I was like, but my, uh, my father just walked in and she’s like, what? And so she kinda knew this story. She knew me pretty well, and she’s like, you gotta be kidding me. Like, like the one you kind of told me about it. I was like, yeah. She’s like, where is he? And pointed to him and she’s like, so what are you going to say to him? I was like, ah, I’m not gonna say anything to him. I was like, she’s like, what do you mean you’re not going to go talk to them? I was like, no, absolutely not. I was like, why would I go talk to him? I was like, it’s been 30 years. I was like, we’re not even a part of each other’s life.
I was like, it’d be so awkward. Well, with that, she just went over there and yeah, I was like, Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, it was crazy. Yeah. And then before I knew it, you know, they’re all the way at the other end of the coffee house and I’m just sitting there like, yeah, do I run or like, or do I stay here? Like what do I do? And she sat down next to him, started talking to him, and I could tell she said what? She said that I was there and he immediately started scanning the room. Well then his eyes met mine. Like we had eye contact and I could tell you like, I froze. I was like, Holy crap. Like what is he going to do? So like he gets up, kind of takes this deep breath, humbly kind of walks over and he’s extends his hand.
He’s like, you know, Hey, how are you? And I’m like, yeah. I said, I’m, I’m fine. How are you? And he’s like, I’m good. He’s like, so, you know, started asking me all kinds of questions. Do you work? Are you married? Do you have kids? And at the time, um, we were just getting ready to have our first and anyway, we’ll, I’m proud to say is, is that this story actually has a happy ending. So here we are 10 years later, my dad and I actually do have a good relationship. We still talk. I have two younger half-brothers and, um, my kids know, my dad, his grandpa and his wife, grandma, who’s been married to for I think 37 years. We getting back to your question about have we ever kind of had a conversation about the past? So when we first kind of start to get to know each other first few months I took him out to dinner and I just said, Hey, I just, I w I want to air some things out.
I, I need to know like what happened when I was, when I was a baby and what happened when I was 12 and can you please explain what happened? And he basically told me, he was like, look, um, to be honest with you, it was the worst kind of mistakes that I made. He was like, I felt like they were the best choices for the time, but unfortunately, you know, what I’ve learned is had I do it over again, I would’ve done it differently. But, um, you know, it was kinda like when I first left the divorce with me and your mom was so better that it was, it was tough. Very, very tough. And I didn’t want you to be around that. And then when you were 12, it was just, there was so many complexity is to it with me trying to start over. And your mom, you know, me and your mom weren’t getting along again, and it just turned into like chaos. So like that’s what happened there.
So you feel like, do you feel like with his responses and his answers that you were really able to heal and forgive in the, in that circumstance?
You know, I mean, I think I’m blessed. That’s such a good question, Lynn. Um, forgive at. Yeah. I mean, because I think if you don’t, if you don’t forgive, it only hurts the person that holds the grudge. And so yes, forgive, you know, is it a part of kind of my blueprint and did it affect me growing up? Yeah, sure. Absolutely. And I think it kinda goes to back to perception. My dad’s not a bad guy. You know, I think he just made some decisions that maybe he would have done differently. And I think what it’s done now as it’s put us in a place where we’re both willing to say, you know what, the past was the past and let’s just focus on how good our relationship can be with the time that we have now. And that’s what we, yeah. Cool. Thank you so much for sharing that man. And sorry to ask the deep personal questions, but,
well, it’s just so powerful to know, you know, that that is our, I, I know you say you don’t need pity from it and that’s, you know, sharing the story that you are. And I firmly believe in experiencing my own hardships growing up. Like I am who I am because of them, but at the same time to know that that was your experience with fathers growing up and then leading you to this good dad project. It’s kind of astounding that you went from one extreme, you know, situation and example to this. And so I’d love to hear how that came into effect.
Well, I think if anybody knows about one extreme to the other, it’s probably drew with his journey from fit to fat to fit. But yeah, no, I agree with you. So what I did was with the good dad project, I mean I know I mentioned earlier, I kinda hit rock bottom five years ago, where I really was growing up with that type of childhood is I learned everything not to do from my childhood as from a fatherly standpoint. I knew number one, I wasn’t going to leave. I knew I wasn’t going to beat my kids. I knew I wasn’t going to be mentally abusive to him. I knew and I was going to love him with everything I had. Now I will say this, being a father man, it is a learned, learned skill. It really is. And I was just kind of stuck in this limbo.
I was like, okay, I know I don’t want to do that, but I want to be really good at these things, but I have no clue how to be good at these things. So I was kinda like just stuck there in the middle. So what I did was, is five years ago, I mean, I literally immersed myself in anything that had to do with personal growth whatsoever when it came to parenting or being a man or being a husband or just being a, a better worker. I mean, anything that had to do with anything like that, I just read it, absorbed it. And what I found was, is a lot of these skillsets that I talk about in my book, the dad’s edge, a lot of the things we podcast about, if you take those same skill sets and you utilize those skillsets and look through them through the lens of a father or through a parent, it is profound what, what these things will do for you and your journey as a parent.
Yeah, man, and I can totally relate to what you said in the beginning, um, of that statement is that, you know, for me, I took a lot, you know, I grew up in a traditional family. My parents had 11 kids. My dad was of the generation where they worked long hours and they provided for the family and there was, there wasn’t really one on one time. He didn’t really teach me a lot of how to be a good dad. And I know we’ll get into this, but I know for me there was not a lot of reading material or, or how do you learn how to learn how to be a good dad? It just kind of like, Hey, just do your best. You can be a man. Right. Um, I feel like for me, the way I learned was by learning what not to do or what I didn’t want for my kids, stuff that I didn’t like as a, as a, as a son, you know, I was like that for me, that kinda turned me into, okay, this is what I want my kids to have that I didn’t have. And so I can totally relate to what you’re talking about there. Um, but from your perspective and all the research you’ve done, I know you’re going to get into your book, but why is the father’s role so critical from like a researcher perspective and what you’ve read on studies of, of why a dad’s role is so vital and important?
Yeah, that’s such a good crap question drew. I mean, so if you look at when I first kind of started diving into this subject of where in work in my kids life and up if I don’t do this thing right, and I just kind of went to GOC, dr Google and I pulled down some stats and this goes back years ago when I first kind of started this, but I had no, these numbers will completely shock you. So 63% of youth suicides come from a fatherless environment.
So [inaudible] 3% that
that’s, that’s just scratching the surface. I got a few more for you though. The blow your doors off here. So 80% of all rapists come from a fatherless environment.
Whoa. Yeah.
These are, these are, wow. These stats. Yeah. And then I had a couple more, uh, 71 of all teenage pregnancies come from a fatherless environment. Yeah. And I know you got some kind of daughters, but daughters without a father in the home are 53% more likely to get married in their teenage years than if they were to have a father in their life. So, I mean the fatherhood role is, man, it is critical. I mean, they’ve got all kinds of, those are just a few. There’s all kinds of stats out there.
Yeah. Wow. Thanks for answering that. And I don’t know, for me, being a dad of daughters is, it’s a little bit different than being a father of just sons, which is what you have right. For you. Have, you have one on the way, right? Of the fourth one? Yes. And there’s a fourth son or son, right? The only, I would say fourth son. Your poor wife. Hey, you’re just like building a basketball team. Yeah. And she’s a martyr. She’s an absolute ardor. That is funny. You know. So for me, you know, I have two little girls and one of the most influential books for me as a dad of daughters was strong fathers, strong daughters. I don’t remember the author, but it totally changed my mind of how important or a child’s role or a father’s role is in it in a daughter’s life. And that’s why I’ve, you know, tried to become the best dad I can to these two little girls. Cause I know kind of those statistics you’re talking about are scary. And so I know I, I have to do the best I can to be the best role model and show my daughters the most love, uh, as possible so that they will grow up in the right environment and grew up to be wonderful women. Yeah,
absolutely. Yeah. And one of the other, so you’ll, you’ll love to hear this, and Lynn, you’ll love to hear this as well. And I’ve heard this so many times from just unbelievable father fatherhood mentors that I’ve been able to learn from myself is the cool thing drew and LAN about having daughters, especially you drew, is you can show your daughters how a real man is supposed to love a woman. By the way, you love Lynne. I mean that is like the most profound example that you can show those two girls that you have. And when I heard it, cause I don’t really, I mean I get that from like a a son point of view. Like I can show my kids, you know, how to love their, their woman or their wife. Um, but man, the girls like they’ve really, really pick up on that.
Yeah. Yeah. And so true. And I think I quoted this quote on your guys’ podcast when I was on the good dad project is, you know, daughters learn how to love from their moms, but they learn how to be loved from their dads. You know, so the love that they’re shown, and I’ve seen that, you know, the women in my life that haven’t had love shown to them from their father kind of struggle with relationships. And so anyways, not getting into that, we’re kind of getting off track. I want to talk about your book, um, the dad’s edge and I know there’s so many tips in there, but if you could give our listeners three of the biggest takeaways from the book and what people can, um, take away from the book and learn from it, um, and to help them become a better parent.
Yeah, sure. Thank you. I, uh, and just to let everybody know, so my book, uh, it’s, it’s not daunting. It’s, it’s nine strategies, but it’s a hundred pages. And believe it or not, it is written by a man, by, from a busy dad to a busy dad, and it’s nine chapters, a hundred pages. And at the, on the, uh, at the end of each chapter, I have two to four takeaway tips. So even if you’re busy father, yeah, you don’t have time to read. You can just go to those.
You wrote that for a man. I like it. Anytime I tried to get drew to read books, he beg. How long is a lot of pictures then? It’s a pop up book. So all right. It’s actually a with a DVD. He’s watched the movie. I love that.
Oh man. So I mean there’s, there’s a few different strategies but I mean the overall theme is so one is kids, how they spell love is T I M E is time. It’s good quality time and I’ve got a personal story that really illustrates when I, when I say quality time, I don’t mean sitting in the same space with each other and being distracted by something else. I’ve got a, a really horrible story to to share with you guys. Does it my, at the time, my 10 year old, he’s 10 now, but at the time he was six. So I didn’t realize how distracted I was with my electronic device until he taught me a lesson one time, four years ago. So we’re sitting on the couch watching TV and um, and I, uh, I look up at the, uh,
okay.
I can totally hear that. Yeah, no, this is, this isn’t normal parenting moment. He heard you. He was like, I want to tell the story for that. Mike
two-year-old is banging on the door.
You just hang on one second. Yeah, you’re totally fine. We’re going to keep recording though in case you yell so we can be like, look, see, even later. All right, I’m back. I just had to hit my child, your child through an iPad at here. Watch this. I’m trying to talk to people about spending time with your kids. Well,
uh, yeah. So anyway, uh, so we’re sitting there and watching a, and I’m watching the movie, we’re seeing some animated movie for probably the 20th time. And I looked down to my right and my six year old, he’s playing with this like little toy cell phone. Like his little fingers are going nuts on it. And I kind of nudge him and I’m like, I’m like, Hey Ethan. I was like, you know, watch a movie with me. And he’s just head down, totally ignores me. And then I’m like, Hey Ethan, are you going to watch a movie with dad? Totally ignores me. And just looking down. And so I got frustrated. I’m like, I kind of nudge him. I’m like, Hey Ethan. I was like, are you going to watch to move me or not? And he puts down this little toy cell phone, this is a six year old, puts down this toy cell phone and he looks at me, points at me and he goes, can you not see I’m working? Oh my gosh. Oh man,
I hate those moments where I look at my kids and I’m like, crap. They actually do hear and pay attention to everything I say and do.
Yes, yes, absolutely. It’s powerful. It is. So that it was a, it was a long, it was, it was a hard lesson in man, if I’m going to be around these kids, like I need to make sure that I’m engaged, I need to make sure I’m being there. Cause I’ve basically in that moment, like when he pointed to me and had this look on his face, I no longer saw my son. I saw me, I saw the version I was giving him, which was a terrible version of who I want it to be. So that had to change. So spent ending time with your kids is definitely number one.
And I think the electronics man, that’s such a hard one. Not only you, not only when you’re around your kids, but people in general. Like I, I’ll go out to eat with friends and more than half the people at the table will at various times, sometimes even for a long time be playing on their phone. I feel like nowadays, you know, it’s attached to people’s hips and sometimes we don’t even realize that we’re zoning out and that we’re disregarding and not being engaged with a person in front of us. And of course with our children’s especially essential. But do you have any tips on what’s helped you to stay more engaged with your kids and avoid those types of situations?
Um, I, I’m sorry, what’d you say? I was getting a text. I didn’t hear any of that.
[inaudible]
I’m totally good. One good one. Um, yeah, so what we do in our house, I mean, I, you know, people who have problems with alcohol, you know, they’re, they’re alcoholics. Well, I’m probably an electronic hall, like, which is if my electronic device or laptop is around, I hear a beep. I feel this absolute horrible need that I have to go check it. Otherwise I’m not doing my job, which is a terrible way to be. So what do you do? You just remove those triggers. And one of the things that I’ve done is I will turn my electronic device off, uh, completely leave it at the door. Or sometimes I will even like literally leave it in my car where it’s not even a temptation. It’s out of sight, out of mind. I’m like, well, it’s turned off or it’s not my car. I’m not going to go get it. So I’m going to be here in this moment. And that’s one of the things that just kind of helped me. I mean, it’s no different really with, with you guys, with what you teach with nutrition, you know, if you’re trying to eat a good diet, you know, the last thing you want to do is go out and buy 10 bags of potato chips and think you’re not going to tempted.
Yeah, yeah. No, I love that tip. And I mean that, I’ll be completely honest. That’s a struggle for me. You know, I think having our electronics around and on hand and because especially for us, we do it for work and we have social media on our accounts for work and we’re responding to comments and like you said, we hear it buzz or Dean and we think, Oh, I need to get to that. Um, so that’s one of the things that’s helped me too is like for example, last night I took my kids to the park and so I left my phone in the car and I thought to myself, you know, I didn’t even have a phone until I was 19, which of course my niece are like, what are you like a dinosaur? But it’s like we, we survived all through our teenage years without having phones. I think I can survive two hours at a park without checking my phone. Like nothing’s going to be that much of an emergency that I can’t check it two hours later.
But I will say that I was frustrated. I was like, why is Lynn not [inaudible]?
Yeah, of course. Did you go get the mail? Did you go check the packages? And I, I was like, well, yeah, yeah.
She’s saying, you know, we justify it like being connected to the phone all the time. It’s justified. Oh, I’m doing work and this is, I’m on Instagram scrolling for the past 30 minutes. But uh, you know, it’s like, it’s part of my job, but not really. You just fi wasting a lot of times. So
yeah, I love that. Spending time with their kids.
Tim equals love. And the second one, I think you guys will appreciate this. There’s a whole chapter in my book dedicated to this, but I think when you are a busy parent, one of the things that we can easily just completely just X out of our life. I mean one is sleep. I mean a lot of parents don’t get sleep, but the other one is our health, just our overall health, our nutrition. Um, you know, our, our physical health, trying to stay active and I gotta tell you, I mean I, I’m about ready to have my fourth kid and going and getting my daily workout in is absolutely critical for me to show up as the best version of, of me as a father, a husband, I’m a productive employee worker. The good dad project. I mean I have to like, before I even do podcasts, I have to go do something active just to get my mind in the right spot.
And I think a lot of parents really struggle with that. They think, well, I can’t give myself permission to take care of myself because I’ve got these other people to take care of. But, and Mark divine, we’ll talk about this all day long too. If we don’t take care of ourselves physically, you know, our physical health, our emotional health, our mental health. If we don’t give ourselves permission to, to do that, to take time to do that, we are basically doing the people around us, one of the biggest disservices possible because they want the best part of us. And if we are broken down, if, if we’re not energized and optimized, we are doing them a disservice. So the point is, is give yourself permission to take care of yourself so you can serve the people around you that mean most to you.
Oh yeah, that’s
so good.
Now you’re, you’re barking up our tree right there. You know, um, we agree with that 100%. You know, you’re a healthier you. If you’re, uh, you’re, you’re happier. You if you’re healthier, you, and I don’t mean skinny or having a six pack, that’s not what I’m talking about. That doesn’t make you happy. Doesn’t bring happiness. Being healthy, having your health. It can is people take it for granted when they’re healthy, but when their health is gone, then they appreciate it. Right? Um, but when you’re healthy, you definitely are a happier person. And so that’s what I try and get across people. So that’s awesome that you talk about that in your book cause it’s so important. Um, but people sometimes will say, you know, well, I’m sacrificing myself for my kids. You know, by giving them more time. I don’t want to be selfish. And a lot of women beat themselves up over this because of the insecurity.
Um, they think, well, I’m not a good mom if I don’t dedicate time to my kids, this and that. But really like you’re saying, you’re doing a disservice. You’re a better mom if you can spend, you know, even 10 minutes a day, you know, our dollar warehouse club, not to, you know, poke them in here, but one of the things we teach is working out smarter, not longer. So even a 10 minute workout has amazing benefits for you. So if you can just get it in something for 10 minutes or take care of yourself for 10 minutes, you’ll be happier. Yeah. Especially women from a hormone perspective. You know, I compare and I love that drew said, it’s not about being, you know, it’s not that, Oh, if you’re skinny, you’re healthy. Cause you know, I was at my lowest weight and I was doing way too much.
I emotionally wasn’t in a great place. My hormones, I went to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling well. I was extremely fatigued. I was extremely moody. Um, she tested everything. My thyroid was shutting down, my hormones were everywhere. Um, yeah, I was thin. I looked good. But because of how I was living my life and basically due from chronic stress, my body was shutting down. And that equated to me being extremely fatigued and extremely moody and snappy with my kids. And fast forward, you know, it was a big wake up call for me health wise. My doctor was like, you gotta take care of yourself. And I laughed. I remember laughing at her and I laughed. I said, you know what, if you want to come to my house and do my job and take care of my kids so that I can take care of myself, I’d love that.
And she just looked at me and she’s like, you know what, your health and life depend on it. So figure it out. And I was like, you know, it was a huge wake up call for me. And over the next year, that’s what I did. You know, I took more time for me. I said no to the things that I knew I couldn’t do. I promised myself that I would, you know, even if I was busy cause everyone’s busy, no one has enough time. I was like, you know what I’m going to make, I’m gonna make time for myself each day to do things like yoga or stretching or meditation or reading a book or going out with girlfriends, you know. And I actually, I, I weigh a little bit more than I did at that time. Um, but health wise, you know, my hormones are balanced. I’m happier.
I have a ton of energy now. And what’s interesting is I felt like that would take away from my kids. It would take away from my family. Um, but what I to realize once I became healthier was I was a more energetic, better me. I was able to play work more with my kids. I was able to accomplish more cause I had more energy and more importantly my mood stabilized. So I noticed that I was more patient and loving and fun and kind to my children. So it’s amazing that when you put yourself first and you focus on your health, you really are able to give more to everybody else. And a funny how that works, huh? Yeah, yeah, I know. So it’s like I had to go back and tell my Dr. Good thing she was a woman. So it wasn’t as hard. I was like, you were right. You’re right. Because if it was, it was a guy, I probably would’ve just been like, you know, no comment. No skinny. Just kidding.
So what was the, that was the
okay. Second tip. Take care of yourself. Health.
So, so the third one is really, you know, learn something new every single day. I think one of the problems, I was no different. And, and some of the, some of the dads that I coach and, and, and my speaking events, this comes up a lot, you know, fatherhood, PA, not even fatherhood parenting. It doesn’t matter if you are a father or a mother parenting for some reason in our society and maybe it’s built into our wiring somehow some way, I don’t really know. But we have this view of it that man, we should automatically know how to do it. So I have a kid and I’m like, okay, now I’m, Hey, I’m a father so I should know what to do. I mean, nothing could be further from the truth. I mean, being a father or a mother, man, it is a learned skill and the amount of resources that we have these days at our fingertips, whether it be a podcast, whether it be an audio book, whether it be a blog, there are so many tips out there to sharpen that craft of being a better person, better parent. And I always like to compare this to anyone I’m talking to. Like, for instance, you know, drew and Lynn, I mean think of the years, I mean I’m not even talking about hours, days or weeks. I’m taking years that have gone into investing time into learning everything that you guys know about health. I mean, so just throw a number out there. How, how much time have you spent learning your craft?
Just doing a doctor dr evil? No, there’s like no way to even quantify cause the thing is that’s hard too is, is just like probably everybody else when you’re passionate about something and when it’s your field every day. For example, if you’re on Facebook and an article comes up about health and how often does it happen, cause it’s one of the largest industries where like, Oh, I gotta read it, you know, so we’re constantly, he’s up
on a new study or a new supplement or a new diet trend. Yeah. You’re, we’re spinning, you know, so many hours. Like you’re saying stetting up on these things, you know, becoming more learned. But I think what you’re getting to, which is something that hits home to me, is how much time do we spend on improving being a parent or being a father or reading up on that because I don’t, I’ll be honest, I don’t spend a lot of time like how can I be a better dad? It’s just like, okay, be better today and with no plan of action, you know, or, or reading studies like, you know, all the resource that you had to do for your book. I can imagine that just open up your mind. So if you could learn something new every single day as a parent of how to become a better parent, I think pays dividends, big dividends.
It totally does. I mean, and just like I said, even the perception of like, Hey, you’re a parent, you need to automatically know all the answers to everything that you’re gonna be faced with. And if you don’t know the answer, you are bad at this. I mean, we just need to like completely eradicate that belief because that is not true. You know, the more you become open and be like, you know what, Hey, I don’t have all the answers, but you know what, I’m going to go out. I’m going to learn some new things that are going to help me with this. And one more thing, I just want to be clear about what the book. Um, so when I first kind of started this journey of, you know, the, the good dad project and the dad’s edge, a lot of the books that I read, you know, they had, you know, and not to, uh, you know, say anything bad about people who need, who want to go out and get PhDs and child psychology and family dynamics and all that good stuff.
I mean, I think that’s fantastic. However, when I started reading some of that stuff, it just kinda wasn’t in my, it wasn’t my language, you know, I felt like it was kinda like this person preaching to me from a pedestal of what you should do in a situation when you’re confronted with such and such with your kid. And I didn’t really relate to that and what I, so what I really wanted to find out there, which I guess in a way that’s what the dad edge is, is it’s not a book on parenting. It really isn’t. It’s a book that is going to sharpen some things that we struggle with as a man. So like for instance, your patients, there’s an entire chapter on how to get more patients and a chapter on work life balance. We struggle with that, a chapter on how to communicate more effectively and more purposely with our spouse and our kids. Uh, how to have a, you know, how to improve the relationships even with our friendship because not having that support network, uh, you know, the people in our lives that are gonna push us to grow. You know, Jim Rohn said, you’re the average of the five people you spend the majority of your time with outside of your immediate family. And that’s absolutely true even for a father. So that’s really what the book is about. It’s sharpening all those pain points really, instead of, it’s not really, it’s not a book on parenting at all.
I love that. I love that you, you don’t write out tips and things that people can try. Cause I think one of the hardest things for me, and luckily I’ve gotten better over the years is I, I tend to have a stubborn personality. You know, and I’ll, I’ll admit it, I’ll admit that when I think I’m right, I think I’m right and probably just as much as many of us women cause we usually are right? But, um, but what’s hard for me too is I think you grew up a certain way and I had enough freaking amazing parents. Like my parents are incredible, incredible, incredible people. And so I think how they did it was right, right. And so when I’m, I think, well, this is the way for me to do it. This is how I saw my mom do it. Or this is how I saw my dad do it.
And that’s the right way. And I think one of the things that like just like you were saying that helped me was being open to trying new things and realizing my way might not be the best way and often, let’s be honest, it’s not, you know, and by trying new techniques and new tools and trying to focus on, you know, things that maybe even other friends or family members or suggestions from people like you in a book, I might find that, for example, my, both my kids are very different. Um, I might find that, wow, you know, I’ve had a really hard time with this, with one of my children. Maybe I should try a new technique and see if that works. And I love that you provide those, you know, nine simple techniques in your book to really help people, you know, if it’s not working for you, if you’re struggling as a parent, which all of us do, if you want to try to see if you can become better, more proficient, apparent, you know, try something new, try these new techniques.
So quick question, Larry for you, uh, which I’m not sure if your book goes into, but any tips out there for single parents? You know, cause we have a lot of followers who are, you know, a single mom or single dad and uh, is there anything in there to help them specifically? Or is this mostly geared towards your typical, um, you know, family, mom, dad, kids? That’s
such a good question, drew. Thanks for ass. Can I, I mean so I th what the data edge is really all about is it, it’s, it’s honing just some of your own skillset. So do you have to be a, you know, the typical Mary with, you know, such and such type of dynamics? Absolutely not. A part of my, uh, I have, I have a mastermind that I’m a part of and two of the guys in the mastermind and there’s five of us, uh, are single fathers. And it’s so cool to hear their perspective. And there is one thing, one thing that always comes up of how do I be a better single father? Cause be honest with you, the majority of the emails that I get just to my, you know, uh, the good dad project at Gmail is from men from a divorce situation.
You know, if like, Hey, you know, how can I, how can I do this better? Like I only get limited time and my answer to them is always the same, which is, since you have limited time, you’ve got to make sure that that time is the best, the most purposeful, the most fulfilling and the most deliberate because it’s limited. So everything else when you’re with your kid takes a backseat. So your work, your cell phone, your, your distractions, everything is about if you’ve got 48 hours with that kid, man, that is your 48 hours and the rest of the week you can deal with all the other stuff. But if you’re a single parent, um, with that type of situation, you, the time that you’re spending with that, if it’s limited, you gotta be there. The other thing too on the, on the flip side of that, if you’re a parent where maybe you’re, you’re widowed or a, you know, the mom or the dad is just, they’re gone and you have that child full time and that is very, very tough.
Uh, I was raised in that dynamic. My mom was a single mom for I would say at least six or seven years at the time that I was growing up and my mom had to work a lot. So I think one of the things you have to do as a single parent is again, you know, there’s going to be a lot of things, a lot of things you’re going to have to juggle on your own. And it’s very, very tough. But one of the things I go into my book is, um, if you really want to have a good connection with your kids, set us, no matter how busy your schedule is, set aside 10 sacred minutes every day. And for me, and I’ve, I’ve done this with the, uh, I’ve taught this to several other guys. It’s so simple. But, um, 10 minutes per day, I do it right before my kids go to bed.
I sit five minutes before I sit down and talk to them. I mentally prep about what I’m going to ask them because the quality of our life depends on the quality of our questions. So what I’ll do is instead of saying, how was school today, do you have homework? I don’t do that. What I do is I say, Hey, what was the coolest part about your day and why was it cool? What happened? Tell me about it. And that one question we’ll go into an entire conversation. And it’s, it just makes that relationship so much deeper. And once, once they’ve answered that, man, you just go to the next question, open-ended good questions that elicit a good conversation.
10 minutes a day. That’s awesome. That’s a great tip. Thanks. So thank you so much for sharing that man. That, that, uh, I think will help a lot of people. And that’s something I’ve tried to do as well is instead of just asking my kids how was school good and then they can go, you ah, you know, so I, that’s a great tip. Okay. Kind of shifting gears here, Larry, I’ll kind of want to ask you a little bit about health because for those of you who don’t know, I know you’re best friends with Sean Stevenson who’s a, the host of the model health show, which is a super popular podcast. A lot of people know the name Sean Stevenson and what he does in the, in the health and fitness industry, and you have the privilege to be good friends with him out there in Missouri. Um, and so I kind of want to hear a little bit about how he helped you with your health, um, and what that journey was like for you. Um, because it sounds like, uh, from, from what I’ve heard, you know, when you’re on his podcast, you weren’t always the healthiest 36 year old.
Yeah. So I, I met Shawn four years ago and I met him. I mean, he was kind of sort of getting big, but like I, I wasn’t, I really wasn’t a podcast listener at the time and I was kinda naive to all that.
So I just knew him as like, you know, the guy that my wife’s personal trainer referred me to. I had no idea. Like, you know, but at the time he was, he was a bit of a, on a smaller scale going back four years ago, but I met Shawn four years ago because I was 36 years old and I was on like four different medications. I was on a drug for adult ADHD. I was on a cholesterol medication, I was on Claritin and I believe I was on something. I can’t remember what else I was on, but I was like, man, I’m, I’m like 36 years old. Like I’m already on four medications. Like I’m going to, you know, two years, I’m going to have the Monday through Sunday, you know, like just the pill thing where I’m gonna take my pills with lunch and then dinner, and I’m like to get my arms around this. So I asked my wife’s personal trainer, I was like, Hey, do you, do you know anybody who does attritional coaching here in st Louis? And he’s like, Aw man, I got the perfect guy for you. So he wrote down Sean’s name on a, on a post to note. I went to his office. First thing Sean does is he looks at the medications I’m on and he’s like, I’m just out of curiosity. Wait, let me try to do him here. So just out of curiosity, why are you on this?
That was a good impersonation of him. We might have to come back to that later later if I can get to it. But yeah.
So um, I just told them, I was like, Oh, you know, I, I need that. And he’s like, well what do you need it for? I was like, why? I need that for focus. And he, if you could just picture this, he leans in over, over the table and he goes, are you focusing now? And I’m like, yeah, I’m, I’m focusing now. And he goes, heck yeah, you are cause you want to be in. Like he pointed at me, yelled at me and I’m like, wait, wait, wait, Whoa. But he’s like, I’m just trying to get your attention. You know, you, you are, are in control of your focus. You don’t need a pill to do that. You just prove that to yourself. And I’m like, wow. Yeah. So anyway, within a couple of, well I literally stopped taking everything that I was taking at the time and I’m not promoting anyone get off their medication. But, um, I changed a few things in my diet. He helped me with my diet. I was, I was eating some things. It was causing an inflammatory response. And, um, you know, when I started working with him, got off the ADHD medication, my cholesterol went down, uh, body fat went down. And um, the funny thing is is we ended up getting to be really good friends. Our, our, our childhoods are very similar, which is kinda scary. So that’s how we kind of bonded with this whole good dad project thing.
Yeah. And I think that’s super powerful too. Like, you know, you hear, you were taking these medications like a good boy, listen to your doctor, you know, that’s what you were prescribed. And so that’s why I think a lot of people are just like, well, my doctor prescribed it to me. I need this, you know, and they don’t question it until they kind of, um, you know, learn or, or become more knowledgeable about other options, you know, and healthier options. And I think if most people were asked like, Hey, if you really wanted to get off this medication, would you, and I think most people would be like, yes, I want to get off of this, but I don’t know how. And so, um, I think your experience with Sean is really powerful and, and teaching people that there are other options that can be explored. We’re not saying, you know, ditch them, don’t take them, don’t listen to your doctor. That’s not what we’re trying to say, but do some homework and see what other options are available out there. You know, if you change your nutrition, this might, you know, lead you getting off of your high blood pressure medication for example, or other medics.
Then the best way that I put it, because I’m definitely used, I used to think when people
would talk about nutrition could change this or that. I used to think that was like woo woo. I was like, Oh sure, you know, that’s gonna magically make everything better. I was definitely more, you know, I had been on like anxiety and depression medication since I was like 14 years old. Okay. So like I, I started young and I used to thank, you know, pills were the answer. It’s the only way you could fix like chemically everything in your body. Um, until somebody kind of sat me down and was like, let’s talk about cause and effect. So you’re taking these pills to change, you know, what’s affecting your body. But if you never change what’s causing this, you’re always going to be taking this and it’s never going to be right. And that kinda hit home to me. And I think that’s a great thing for listeners to think about is why don’t you do a little bit of research to think about what is causing this.
So for example, you know, this is a very obviously very surfaced example cause it’s not something like your hormones are anxiety or depression, things that I have dealt with. But let’s say for example, you’re deficient in vitamin D. you could very easily take a vitamin D three supplement every day of your life. But what if you just got more sun, you know, which would naturally give you the vitamin D you needed. And actually in a healthy way your body would absorb it and utilize it in the best beneficial way. But if you’ve never researched what vitamin D was and you didn’t know that getting sun could do that, you know, you’d be stuck. So I love what you said. You know, he kinda just hit home for you being like, do you really need this? And you thought about the ways in your life, you could maybe change some things so that you wouldn’t need, you know, that you weren’t getting the same cause you didn’t need those, those pills. So that’s what I think what we mean. We don’t mean, Oh yeah, get off everything that your doctor recommends, but research the cause of it. See what things you could do naturally to change your circumstance.
That’s right. I mean, and plus people just need to realize too, um, you know, just because your doctor prescribed you something, it’s still your body. You know, it’s still your body and you have the right to know what’s going on and how you can maybe fix some things without, without drugs. If you can do that, you know what I mean? There’s some diseases that obviously we can’t maybe get around, but for the most part, you know, it’s your body and go do the homework and figure out, you know, do you really ask yourself, do I really need this or is there an alternative, a healthier alternative that I can do to get off this?
Yeah, I love that. Awesome. Well, now we’re going into my most, we’re wrapping up, we’re going into my most favorite part, which is the lightning round. So during the lightning round, we’re going to ask Larry random questions that have no purpose or meaning, which is why it’s my favorite part. And your part is to answer as quickly as possible. The first thing that comes to your mind. So don’t try to scan it when I ask you something, you’re like, Ooh, I don’t want to say that. Whatever pops into your mind first is what you say. Are you ready? Got it.
I’m ready. Let’s do it. Your most embarrassing parent moment. Oh man. Well, sorry. My most embarrassing parent moment by far. So I’ve, I have this older, my oldest child is, uh, my oldest son is 10 so he’s very, you know, he’s very aware of things now and you know, how he looks and how other people look around him. And so I used to actually, back in the day I, four years ago, I, I did a bodybuilding contest and I’ve, I’ve kinda competed on and off for the past 15 years. I’m not a typical bodybuilder. I’m six one, I’m 180 pounds and when I compete, I’m like one 65, so I’m like a skinny guy up there. I just try to get lean. So, but uh, I was putting him to bed the other night, this is actually really recent and I still shave like my arms and my chest and all that. And, and he’s like, Hey, uh, yeah dad, just, just out of curiosity, um, why do you, why do you shave your arms still? And I’m like, well, you know, I, I did that muscle show, you know, cause they call it a muscle show. I did that muscle show, um, you know, a couple of years ago. And he’s like, yeah, so you shaved because you had muscles. I’m like, yeah. And he’s like, well, you don’t really look like that anymore,
so why do you still do it dad? I’ll get, I’ll get back to it. You know, I’m working. Come on man. I’m just about to cut. Give your dad a break. Uh, I was going to say makes you feel better. My six year old asked me the other day, she was saying, look, I have a lot of hair on my arms cause she actually is, you know, it’s getting quite a bit of hair, a lot of bit of peach Bez and she was like, why do I have more hair than dad
started it and like I became a habit and now I just disliked
like how do you explain to your six year old why she has more hair than her dad? I laugh, I literally laughed hysterically and I didn’t even answer cause I was laughing so hard. That is great.
Me as my father in law cause he’s like, he’s like a man’s man. He’s, he’s a, he’s a rough, tough like you know guy’s guy and he’s, yeah, I’ve known him for 20 years and he was like, Oh yeah, yeah, still shaving your arm.
He’s like, so when are you gonna hit puberty? I mean, any day now bud, any day. Sorry, we’re getting way too. Okay, next question. If you could be any superhero, who would you be?
Oh gosh, I probably, you know, Superman. I’ve always just wanted to walk around in public with, you know, my underwear on.
Just totally just like every other med but just want to walk around in the nude.
That’s right. That’s funny. Um, okay. So I gotta ask you this cause you’re good friends with Shawn and for those of you who don’t listen to the model health show by the way, you need to listen to or the good dad project cause he’s your cohost on that, right? Yes sir. Okay. So you got to do your best impression of Shawn Stevenson cause I’ll be honest, I think he has the best, even sexiest voice in the party
since drew said it. I can say he is the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard or your best impression of Shaw.
All right, welcome to the model health show. This is fitness and nutrition expert Sean Stevenson. He with my beautiful, amazing cohost Jade who really [inaudible]
what’s up Jay?
Real quick story. This will take 10 seconds. So we actually recorded a podcast today and we interviewed Olympic goal, our Olympic wrestler, Jake Herbert. And Jake told us that he actually has a nickname. Like all of all of Jake’s guys are buddies who listen to the show to have a nickname for Sean. They call him audio video of it.
[inaudible] cause he was like mr smooth. I know he is. I tried to get him to sing, he can even sing and I tried to get him to sing on our podcast but he was too shy. So, Oh my gosh, you gotta get him to sing on the good dad project then. That’s hilarious. But that was good man. It was good impression on him. Cause that’s what he says every day. How are you doing Jade? You know, my beautiful favorite dessert? Favorite dessert. Oh, anything chocolate? Absolutely. All right, well I’m with you on that. I’m a woman. So when’s your next body building competition for rules? Are you bulking? You really,
I, I think I’ve been bulking for four years. It’s just not going into my biceps and triceps. The teams, it’s going like in my mid section. So
it’s building those apps.
I, I, that’s why I mean drew, I mean, I know I emailed you a while ago, you guys have been busy with your show, but I was like, Hey, drew, like, um, you know, buy a chance to do some, like I kinda want to get lean again. Like, do you do some coaching that maybe I could, we could talk or, and so I got to talk to you about that. I don’t know. My body’s like at a plat. I mean, I still work out almost every day, but it just kinda like my body’s like, you know what, I’m just not gonna do anything. You’re just going to keep looking the same.
Yeah. We’ll tell. We’ll talk about that. We’ll talk about that for sure. Um, your most embarrassing moment ever. Oh, not to never ever do it with kids, but ever. Okay. Alright. Have you ever, have you guys ever seen, we’ve had a girl who pooped her pants, so, no pressure. All right. All right. So have you guys ever seen the movie hitch? Yes. Okay. I know that art,
you know that part where Kevin James goes in and tries to kiss Alegra Cole for the very first time and he just like closes his eyes puckers up and he goes 90 and he’s just like, he just,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I met
my wife. This was actually a speech at my best man at my wedding for my best man. I, when I was hanging out with my wife when I first was getting nowhere the first few weeks, um, we were hanging out like every day together. Neither one of us had made a move. I didn’t even know she liked me or not. And I was so nervous around her and there was so much tension built up. I was like, I just, I, I’m so infatuated with this girl and I want to kiss her so bad and I don’t know if she even likes me. And so one night we were taking a walk, we sat down on a park bench and I hadn’t kissed her yet and she was talking and she was just talking, talking, talking, and I was not listening to a word she was saying.
And all I was thinking was, I have to kiss this girl, I have to kiss this girl. And I did this countdown in my head. I went three, two, one and I just freaking went. And I did. I went straight for like, like Kevin James did that movie and she just started laughing. Oh like wait, wait, what? And she’s like, she just started laughing and I’m like, Oh my God. Like I am so deep in the friend zone now. It’s not even funny. There’s no recovering from this. But she like grabbed me, she kissed me and she was like, what took you so long?
Oh see she’s probably laughing cause she’s probably like a street, like in a specific part of the story, like, and then my, you know, then my grandpa found out he had cancer and you’d like, go ahead and kiss her. And she’s like, all right, he’s not listening to a word. I said, all right.
Oh, my wife would be the first to tell you. She’s like, I couldn’t stop laughing because you looked so funny just coming right at me with your lips. Puckered your eyes closed. Worked out in the end. Yeah.
So I have to ask you this, Larry. Um, would you ever do a fit to fat to fit experiment? Like let’s say there’s a TV show that’s perhaps coming out soon where you know, contestants have to gain weight during the episode and then lose it. What’d you ever do a fit to fat to fit experiment on purpose? You know, I’m not asking for season two, but you know, just wondering.
And that is, gosh, that’s such a good question. So anybody who knows me really, really well. So I grew up, you know, half of my life, man, I was, I was a, I was a fat kid and just struggled with my weight, you know, terribly. And some of the toughest years of my life was when I was overweight. And I mean, no kidding around there is a part of me that I fear being overweight, you know, so much. And, and the older I get, especially like, you know, me, I’m 40 now. The, the fear I have is like, you know what if I put on weight and I can’t get it off cause you know, so to answer your question, I think I would love an excuse to eat like big Macs and pizza for like three months or whoever it takes. I mean I think I would definitely entertain the idea, but man, I would need some die hard coaching on like to get that weight right back off again cause I would not want it around.
Yeah. And I don’t blame you because I kind of experienced the same thing when I gained my 75 pounds in those six months, I did not expect to get that much weight. Um, I thought I would gain maybe 50 pounds. And so I was kind of freaking out and I was doubting myself. Like, what if like I do not get my body back like a, and I’m stuck like this, you know, what am I going to do? And I did have that moment of freaking out, um, because I couldn’t see myself in shape anymore. I was totally overweight at that point in time. So I have the same fear. Um, but I, you know, have to ask every person that comes on this show and most of them say no cause they’re like not crazy cause they’re not crazy. Um, but yeah, no, I always like to ask to get people’s perspective because I learned a lot from my experience, which is so cool to see the TV show fit, fit, fit coming out. By the way, this is a plug for the TV show 55 to fit on A&E January 19th at ten nine central where the, the trainers from the show have to do what I did the fit to fat experiment for four months and then lose it with their client for the next four months. So, um, I, and I, I think I sent you the, or did you see the commercial for it yet?
I did actually. I’m glad you brought that up. I want to say something about that. Um, so I saw your trailer. I, I’ve known you for a while now, but I didn’t really know the direction your TV show is going to go in. And then I saw your trailer get launched on social media. And to be honest with you, I don’t have a whole lot of time to watch TV. I’m not a big TV guy. But, um, when I saw that trailer, I got to tell you, um, I’m not necessarily the most emotional guy in the world, but that trailer like literally choked me up. And the reason why is because I was like, Holy cow. Like this show is completely different from any other show that I’ve seen as it pertains to being healthier weight loss and all that. And it was just so cool. I mean to see how these clients were touched, how their lives were touched by these personal trainers who are willing to walk in their shoes and feel that pain and for these people to come together, link arms and do this experiment together. It is just unbelievable. I cannot, I’m already a fan. I cannot wait to see the show and know. By the way, I have no check in the mail from [inaudible]
drew. I’m genuine,
really excited for this show to come out. It’s really cool.
Well, thank you so much. There’s chocolate for that target. No, thank you so much for, for sharing your opinion. I mean that means a lot to me. It really does because I am, you know, part of me is nervous. How are people going to view this? It is going to be controversial, but it’s like nothing anybody’s ever seen. And my goal is to take what I did with fit, do I have to fit, put it into more of a nationwide approach and getting other trainers on board with this movement, this revolution to help people gain a better understanding and have people on both sides of the spectrum of those who are skinny and fit over here and people who are overweight who judge each other on both sides. And there’s so much misunderstanding that goes on between these two groups that I feel like this show. My hope is that it will kind of bridge that gap and people will gain a better understanding and be less judgmental because of this. So thanks for coming on the show today. There. Before we go, can you let people know where they can find you and get in touch with you and learn more about the good dad project podcast and the dad’s edge on Amazon?
Yeah. So you can, you can find us best way to find us as good debt, project.com uh, you’ll find our podcasts there. I’ve got tons of resources there. Free resources, uh, Facebook adept project. You can also just search my name on Facebook. I’m not really picky about who I connect with. Just Larry Hagner on Facebook. Also good dad project on Instagram, good dad project on Twitter and a, you can find my book on Amazon. If you go to Amazon, go in the search bar and just type in dad edge. It’ll be the first one that pops up. I also got a landing page on my website as well for that, but um,
awesome. We’re going to put all of that in the show notes so if you’re listening go to the show notes, we’ll link up to his website, the book, social media information, all of that will be in the show notes.
Awesome. Thank you so much Larry for that. You are awesome and amazing and thank you for being a super dad and what you do for other dads out there. I appreciate it and to thank you again for coming on the show. My pleasure, man. Thank you so much for having me.
Okay, thanks so much Larry. Talk to today’s
podcast was brought to you by dollar workout club.com checking them out for a five at home workout videos, five new healthy recipe videos and five motivational videos every single week. New content delivered to every single week for just $1 zero.
Yeah, hopefully you guys love the show. I really enjoy, like drew talked about kind of before we even started the episode, we really liked to bring you guys all around great content, not just related to health and fitness. If there’s any subjects or people that you’d like to have on or subjects you’d like us to discuss, make sure to leave them in the comments. Leave us a review. We’d love to hear what you guys think of the show.
Yeah, please share the any episode that you love with your friends and family or share the podcast with friends and family. Please subscribe on iTunes and definitely leave us a review there. We appreciate your guys’ support and you know, some part of, part of this podcast is brought to you guys by you know, sponsorships. But at the same time, you know, we definitely would appreciate donations to help keep this podcast alive, to fund, you know, all the costs and time that goes into creating these, these podcasts. But because there is a lot of time and effort on our end that spent putting this together for you guys. So if you find it valuable, you know, go to 55 to [inaudible] dot com for SAS podcasts. There’s a donate button. If you wouldn’t mind contributing. Also just you guys know Mark your calendars. January 19th, 2016 fit to fit, fit the TV show on A&E is happening.
Um, you don’t want to miss out on this. It’s been a long time coming. Uh, I’m, I couldn’t be more proud to be a part of this TV show. Uh, you guys are gonna love it. It’s like nothing else out there on TV that you’ve ever seen when it comes to a weight loss TV show. But stay in touch with us on social media. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and Snapchat at fit to fat to fit. That’s fit number two, fat number two, fit and stay in the know by subscribing to my newsletter on my website fit to fat to fit.com
yeah, and all my social media handles are the number two fit at home. My website isn’t number two fit@home.com and so make sure to check me out there.
We love you guys, we appreciate you guys. You guys are awesome. Come visit us in Hawaii anytime and we will see you guys back here next week for another year.
See you guys.
