This past week, while not too eventful, still had a lot to teach me. From a numbers POV, I gained four pounds, which is a pretty big jump this far into the journey. Body fat up only .2 percent, ¼ of an inch in my hips and waist. So things are still growing. Feeling uncomfortable a lot of the time because I notice it is getting harder to breathe, especially after a meal. I have to lean back to be able to breathe a little more.
This week was nice because I didn’t do a food challenge. It was the first week I didn’t do one. I have talked a little bit about why I am taking a step back from food challenges, which is the nature or evolution of this journey. At first, it was a bit of fun being able to eat all of this unhealthy food, but there is a serious part to this journey also, and I feel like the fun of it is harder to come by. It is now serious as the health effects I am experiencing are real, both mentally and physically. And I heard that from you all too. Many of you told me that I wasn’t taking this seriously enough, and it was all a game to me. Thank you for being honest with me. I appreciate that because this is very serious to me. But I also think that you need to laugh a little. I will do 2 or 3 more food challenges during the journey. I am still gaining weight. I don’t need the food challenges to make that happen. I can still eat normally and gain weight.
I guess what I am learning is the lasting impact of this on me from a health perspective. I have taken for granted so much of my health, but now, I realize how important it is. This week I am feeling much more out of breath. I am not sleeping well, and I feel more negative- a more negative mindset, no matter how much I meditate or journal. Those things help, but it just isn’t enough to compensate for the negative emotions that come from the sleep deprivation, the hormonal changes….that is putting me in this negative mindset.
This week I also feel like I have come closer to understanding the mindset of some of my clients. When you are not feeling great about yourself when life gets harder than normal, you can get stuck in this negative mindset that perpetuates itself, and you spiral down, eating more unhealthy food, not making time for exercise self-love. When this happens, and it is happening to me, you can get negative about a lot of things, and no matter what you do to offset these negative feelings, it just isn’t enough if you are not sleeping well, not taking care of your body. So much of being in a good place and finding equilibrium with yourself is about balance-balance between meditating and journaling and getting out and exercising and eating right and sleeping soundly. So, this is what I felt I was much more clearly made aware of this week. Always a learning opportunity if you look for it.
Six weeks left to go. Counting down the days and the minutes when we can all start a journey back to fit.
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